Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am one with the molecules
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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