Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
