He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
