So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
