Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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