Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
