they need to just BURY HIM!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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