this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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