Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize