covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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