oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
