Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
