YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Screwed.edu
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
