so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
