Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
