I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
