Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
