my vag is so smooth its legendary
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
