oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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