The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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