The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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