How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
