he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize