you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
