never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We just shotgunned beers for America
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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