is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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