covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
