the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
