its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
