There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
