it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
