YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
