I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
