M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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