Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
