College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
