I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
