you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
