Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize