Just took my morning after pill in the library
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
