He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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