For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
