I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
