absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
