apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
