the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize