This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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