I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm always down for nudity.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
