Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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