my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
