I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
