I hate your face
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
