There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
