so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
