i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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