either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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