My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
