By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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