Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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