then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
